10 reasons not to play Souls-like games

13 days ago, by Enzo

Do you like games that praise you, regularly give you new rewards, and let you save your progress before losing 45 minutes of gameplay? Then don’t go play a Souls-like game, period. Why put yourself through endless battles, die over and over against the same boss, and spend your time wondering where to go when there are so many games perfectly capable of treating you with respect? After publishing an article listing 10 reasons to play Souls-likes, here’s one that takes the opposite stance: 10 reasons to steer clear… unless, of course, you enjoy suffering on purpose.

1. Because dying is literally a game mechanic

In a Souls-like game, dying isn’t an accident: it’s a recurring activity, the guiding principle, the foundation of the game. You’ll die fighting a boss, against a basic enemy, against a group of three rats, and sometimes even by falling from a ridiculous height. And the worst part is that the game will then tell you it’s your own fault. We’d love to single out one in particular, but it’s true of them all…

2. Because the enemies have clearly been trained by ninjas

Did you think you could just calmly attack that poor, isolated knight? Bad idea. He’ll suddenly launch an attack that lasts three minutes, dodge your strike, chase you for 400 meters, and kill you in two hits. Meanwhile, your character will obviously take half a second to turn around. And the enemies in Mortal Shell certainly won’t argue with that.

3. Because a boss must have multiple phases

We’ve finally figured out the boss’s attacks. You dodge perfectly, you’re almost winning, your health bar is two centimeters from zero… the final blow lands on the boss… and then, PHASE 2. The boss changes form, its sword becomes three times bigger, and the music kicks back in full force. And that’s when the boss is kind enough to have ONLY two phases. Hello, Ishin!

4. Because no one will tell you what to do

Looking for the next step in your quest? Good luck. No minimap, no markers, no GPS, and sometimes not even a clear enough clue. A character will simply say, “Find me where the moon kisses the ashes of the fallen kingdom.” ” And you’re supposed to know they’re talking about a cave located 17.5 kilometers southwest of your current position. No one would say that navigation and exploration in Dark Souls II are a breeze.

5. Because you’ll become obsessed with the numbers

We had decided to just play casually. But before long, here we are comparing 47 weapons, 16 stats, 12 rings, and 38 types of bonuses. This sword deals 183 damage, but with 62 Strength and 35 Dexterity, it becomes 2.7% better. Congratulations: we’ve officially become accountants—but only for a few battles, since we’ll have to start all over again very soon. Dark Souls II, you’ve got us in your grip once again…

6. Because we’re going to lose our precious resources (again and again)

After saving up for two hours, we finally have enough experience or resources to level up our character. So we head out to buy our new gear… and die stupidly 15 meters from the next save point. All we can do is go back to retrieve our resources, knowing full well we’ll die again, in exactly the same spot.

7. Because they all look the same

For those who love visual diversity in games, Souls-like games aren’t the place to look. The color palettes are all the same from one installment to the next; it’s incredibly dark, and even the slightest hint of bright color is banned… In short, you’re going to have to squint, because the only warm color you’ll see is that of the campfire—from dying over and over again… (we might be exaggerating a bit on this point, but maybe not that much)

8. Because the hitbox is totally terrible

At least, that’s one of our favorite excuses. At first, everything will be fine because it isn’t particularly complicated yet. But soon enough, the challenges start to show, like the first minor bosses you shouldn’t have encountered so early on, and plenty of other things. Rather than blaming our boldness, or our lack of awareness of the danger, it’s definitely easier to say it’s the game’s fault, that the hitbox sucks, or even that the controller has a glitch… Yep, you didn’t exactly win over all of our hearts, Lord of the Fallen.

9. Because we’re going to have to replay the same fight 47 times

In a traditional game, losing to a boss usually means you have to change your strategy. In a Souls-like game, it sometimes means you’re about to do exactly the same thing 47 times, until one day your brain finally figures out the perfect timing. And by the time you win, you’ll probably have forgotten why you were so annoyed in the first place.

10. Because after all that, you’ll be coming back for more

This is probably the worst reason of all. After dozens of hours of frustration, absurd deaths, rage, and controllers dangerously close to the wall, you’ll finally beat that final boss and feel a particularly satisfying sense of accomplishment… then look at the list of similar games and say to yourself, "Okay, now I’m going to try this one!".

As you’ve probably figured out, Souls-like games are absolutely outrageous. They refuse to hold your hand, punish you for your mistakes, hide their stories behind item descriptions, and consider it perfectly reasonable for a boss to be able to kill you in two hits. Yet behind this unapologetic bad faith lies precisely what makes them so charming: these games understand that a victory is much sweeter when it isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. So, for those of you who are ready to die over and over again just to finally feel a sense of pride when the screen simply displays “Enemy Defeated,” maybe you should… actually give a Souls-like a try.

And while we’re at it, we’ll take a moment to recommend a few of these unique games, as a follow-up to our previous article on the subject.